Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.
Luke 17:3-4
Ken Sande offers the following helpful points on confession (repentance) and forgiveness:
7 A’s of Confession
• Address everyone involved (Prov. 28:13; 1 John 1:8-9)
• Avoid if, but, and maybe (don’t make excuses; Luke 15:11-24)
• Admit specifically (both attitudes and actions)
• Acknowledge the hurt (express godly sorrow for the way you affected someone)
• Accept the consequences (Luke 19:1-9)
• Alter your behavior (commit to changing harmful habits; Eph. 4:22-32)
• Ask for forgiveness
4 Promises of Forgiveness
• I will not dwell on this incident.
• I will not bring up this incident again and use it against you.
• I will not talk to others about this incident.
• I will not let this incident stand between us or hinder our personal relationship.
Themes
· Look to Christ
· Love
· Mercy
· Repent
· Forgive
· Reconcile
Points
- Christ commands us to forgive. (Matthew 6, 18; Luke 17:3-4)
- I forgive others as Christ forgave me. (Matthew 6, Colossians 3:12-17)
- Reconciliation can begin when we each repent to one another and exchange forgiveness. Pray and aim for it. (Matthew 5, 2 Corinthians 13:7–11)
- If our brother refuses to repent, then we do our best to live at peace (Romans 12:18).
- Beware the warnings against unforgiveness and showing no mercy. (Matthew 6, l8; Luke 6; James 2:13; 2 Corinthians 2)
- I love my enemies as Christ loved me when I was his enemy. (Luke 6)
- God is using this for my good. (Genesis 50:19-21)
- Christ is my example to follow. (Luke 23:34, 1 Peter 2:18–25, Hebrews 12)
Helpful books from this series:
- The Peacemaker by Ken Sande
- Bite & Devour by Alexander Strauch
- A Failure of Nerve by Edwin Friedman
- Friedman’s Fables by Edwin Friedman
- Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook by June Hunt
